The greatest asset you have to get what you really want is your ability to churn, churn, churn! Churning is what you do to make butter from milk. It doesn't happen right away. One ‘churn’ will not make butter, nor will two. It requires you to churn, churn, churn and churn! If you really don’t like butter, you won’t put out the effort to get it. Or you will let someone else do the churning - that doesn't work with 'dadhood'!
Dadhood is a lot like making butter in that it takes a lot of effort to be the dad you need to be. Dads also need to “churn, churn, churn!" If you live separately from your children and/or don’t see them as often as you want or should, ask yourself why. If you do live with your children but rarely interact with them, something has to change. There are certainly many possible reasons these situations exist, but none can be used as excuses. Reasons help identify necessary actions to take, while excuses are a request for sympathy and dismissal.
Let’s take the excuses away and consider them reasons instead. With reasons, you have actions to take to counter them. These actions are not always easy to accomplish. You may have to work at it!
- If you are frustrated, you must be patient.
- If you’re full of despair, you must have faith.
- If you feel out of control, take a deep breath.
- If your priorities are all wrong, re-prioritize.
- If you are exhausted, rest and come back even stronger.
- If the odds are against you, vow to beat them!
- If your reality is bad, get a new reality.
- If you are afraid of criticism, buck up!
- Never surrender, never give up!
- If you are not really interested in your kids, (if you don't like butter), you won't be churning. I’m without any words to help, except, get a new reality!
Be there for your children - always! If you take a vacation from that responsibility, there may be a price to pay, or a difficulty to overcome.
Turning a phrase from 'Star Wars', "May the butter be with you!"